Life is just one damned thing after another.-E.H.

I don’t drive cos I got no car and my house is just near my school. Sometimes, when I get my hands on the steering wheel, there’s a possibility that the car would become a weapon of mass destruction. So, it’s better to be safe than die. 

I live in Baguio right now. Baguio is a place bounded by lots of jeepneys and taxis on the streets. According to statistics, there is a bigger percentage of PUVs than the private vehicles. And when you try crossing the street or walking on the sidewalk, you always stumble on to jeepneys with reckless drivers who try to get as many passengers as they can. They are street monsters. 

I never liked riding jeepneys because:

- First, people are always staring at you when you enter and occupy a space on the cushioned seat.

- Second, I hate it when a person sits next to you and you can smell unnecessary odor or he’s too fat and you can’t breathe anymore cos his flabby arms are on your face.

- Third, I also hate it when a long-haired woman sits next to you and you end up eating her effin’ hair because of the wind.

- Fourth, what I mostly hate is when passengers are trying to pass the fare to the driver and when a person tries to reach it out to the farthest person he could ever reach, they sometimes touch your chest, I mean boobs, and it’s very irritating. 

People in Baguio prefer riding jeepneys cos it’s very cheap and available unlike taxis. Baguio is the center of the whole Benguet region. It is where educational institutions, commercial buildings and many more kinds of livelihood complexes are established. That’s why everyday, Baguio is expecting tons of people who will invade its streets.

Since Baguio is a type of snake and ladder place you can never get lost in it. You can never get your ass in to a dead end.

There can be other options in getting your self to places where you want to go. Walking is one option but if you’re a lazy-fat girl like me, this is a very, very bad idea. Just like jeepneys, taxis are also reliable when it comes to transpo services but if you’re not from Baguio, it may cost you a large amount of you’re fortune.

            So, I ride cabs cos they can take my fatty ass from here to there without flabby arms slapping my face. BUT, have you ever wondered what’s behind the names that are printed on the sides, on the hood or any part of the taxi. Do you know what “Octopussy” or “Gift of Love” or “Torotot” means? You can spend your whole life figuring it out but still you can’t.

             The comic names are mind-boggling but dealing with the drivers is even harder to figure out. There are many kinds of taxi drivers. There are the ones who are funny, timid, loud, and most especially the teenagers at heart who try to ask about you love life. Dealing with them requires a lot of patience and understanding because sometimes, communicating with them is very hard due to some abnormalities like hearing disabilities.

            What’s more interesting with these taxis, is how they select passengers. Sometimes drivers lock their doors to prevent you from entering. Then they just roll down their windows and ask where you’re going and without any word they just leave you without an answer. If it’s a yes or a goddamn no. 

Taxi drivers mostly refuse to passengers who have near or far destinations. If it’s near, they will surely advise you to just walk your way going there. If it’s too far, they will recommend you to another taxi. How nice is that.

Riding a taxi is really a challenge cos you never know how your driver’s gonna be or did the driver really understood your instructions or not. But whatever happens, the important thing is to be calm when pissed and until you get to your destination.

By merely looking at it, transportation is not something you can’t talk about, but it is. It can get very complicated when you try figuring it out. 

Above all, people can’t go to where they wanna be without these. No matter how complicated and painstaking it gets, the important thing is they deliver you to your destination and they help in moving people.

You know you’re not okay when you start staring sadly at things that are not really supposed to be stared at. When you think you're just fine when in fact in spite of the strange people that surrounds you, you feel as if there's still something missing within you. Then you realized you’ve grown too much.

Being in college and an adult at the same time made me think about some things that I didn’t cared about. I never imagined how I survived living by myself when in fact; during my first months in college I was struggling to overcome homesickness. I did my own grocery, my own laundry, and my own house chores. Nobody was there to help me with my home works, nobody was there to take care of me when I’m sick, and nobody was there to cook for me. Yet, I didn’t mind doing it because I chose this kind of life. I started my life with fear that I won’t make it through and I would end up kicking my own ass out of this place. Fortunately, I did not do that because now I just realized I rewarded myself with independence.

But now, it’s what I fear the most because I think it made me grow too much. Too much that I can’t remember how was the “old me” anymore.

i'm sitting a meter away from the blackboard. the classroom is friggin hot, must have been the effect of global warming. ma’am romero is in the middle of her discussion. i've got my binder on top of my desk, i'm holding my ballpen but still, i didn't bother to take down notes. i know i'm listening to every word that my prof had been uttering but my mind, is fixed somewhere else.

i miss timmy. i miss the excitement i feel whenever i see his name in my inbox, whenever i talk to him and all his missed calls in my call directory. i miss his gay-like voice. i miss everything about him. i've never felt so lonely in my life. my school is pressuring me too much, my professors are eating me alive. i haven't got enough sleep yet. and when at night, i always hit the sacks with tears flowing from my eyes. i never thought college life could be this difficult. it was much different from HS.

i needed someone who can comfort me, i needed someone who'll make me feel strong. he was there at first. he would always understand. but now, i guess i totally screwed up. because when i looked back, he turned away. when i spoke his name, he didn't turn his back on me. everything went so wrong. i could feel my tears streaming again thru my cheeks. it feels so miserable having to finish this article as i struggle to look at the screen.

THE TRUTH DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE BUT IT'S STARTING TO KILL ME.